Back in August of 2006, I wrote some new lyrics to a well-known (and annoying) song that bemoaned the uncertainty of the offensive line under new coach Mike McCarthy. At the time, we still had players by the name of Whitaker and Klemm, and were trying to work in a bunch of rookies to see who would stick.
Fast-forward three years later, and I will be the first to admit that our line has improved over the Whitaker days. But, after looking at the reports from the OTA's, it is still clear that few spots are firmly decided along the offensive line, something that many observers like myself would love to see (finally) set in stone.
So, without any further ado, I present to you "The Offensive Line Shuffle", 2009 version.
The Offensive Line Shuffle
(sung to the tune of "The Super Bowl Shuffle")
We are the Packers’ Shufflin’ Crew
Shufflin' around, doin' it for you.
Pressure on A-Rodge while we stood
Blowin' our blocks like you knew we would.
You know we're not just shufflin’ for fun
Just finding a turn for everyone
Our offensive punch will remain subtle
‘Cause we keep doing the Offensive Line Shuffle.
Well, they call me Tauch,
And I like to leap
That right tackle spot’s been mine to keep
Until last year I tore an A-C-L
Now there’s one more spot that needs to gel
It doesn’t look much
Like I’ll be able to play
Bad news for me as I’m an U-F-A
I’m out my payday, but it’s no trouble,
I’m gonna sit back and watch
The Offensive Line Shuffle
This is Big Chad, over on the left
In pass protection I’m still quite deft
I’ve tried my best to fight the fight
But still can’t get the Z-B-S right
Now I'm penciled in
To start this season
But it’s my contract year and there’s the reason
After this year Ted’ll set me free
An Offensive Line Shuffle starts at L-T
I'm Scotty Wells, and you’ve been told
I’m the man in the middle, big and bold,
But after five years of stuffing the blitz
I have to compete with ol’ J. Spitz
Trade talks brewin’ during the draft
Looks like I’m the one getting the shaft
Because of an injury to my back muscle
I’m a part of the Offensive Line Shuffle
I'm the plucky grunt known as J-Spit
Guard’s okay but center seems to fit
Got a Sherman holdover in my way
But he’s on the sideline of the O-T-A
Me and Scott will “fight it out”
But we all know who will win that bout
I may have Wellsie’s feathers ruffled
It’s all a part of the Offensive Line Shuffle.
This is Daryn from the North Pole
Finding a regular spot
Is my ongoing goal
Started nearly every spot across the line
Guard, some tackle, even rode the pine
They say this is the year I need to show my stuff
Lot of guys drafted going to make it tough
I could be the guy sitting on the bubble
I’d sure like out of the Offensive Line Shuffle.
They say Colledge is the man
If Daryn can't do it, I sure can.
This is Josh, a rookie wonder
Preseason starter til my knee went asunder.
So bring on Meredith, bring on Lang
They’ll all be with the second-team gang
Hope my knee gives me no trouble
Or I’ll be back in the Offensive Line Shuffle.
I’m Tony Moll, who earned some doubt
With the new kids here I’m the odd man out
I started at tackle during the O-T-A
Only because Chad Clifton can’t play
I play tackle, I play guard
In the Z-B-S
But as we phase it out, I play less
Barring injury, my starts are scuttled
I’m odd man out in the Offensive Line Shuffle.
The tackles comin’, I’m your man Breno
They drafted me because I’m tough and mean-o
Try to block the run, block the rush,
But my first season’s one that I’d like to flush
Coach told me tackle was my position to lose
(And yeah, I was even more surprised that you’se)
You may pronounce my name without no trouble
Good luck figuring out the Offensive Line Shuffle.
It's T.J. here, and I play special teams.
But starting on the line is my biggest dreams
I used to play D-Line in college, you know
But now I’m on O-Line, ready to go
Played a little bit of tackle, a little bit of guard
But breaking the starting lineup looks to be hard.
I’m another versatile zone guy in the mix,
We're goin' to do the Shuffle,
And see who sticks
You're lookin' at Meredith , I'm the rookie.
I may be big, but I'm no dumb cookie.
Went to the draft, fell like a rock
Packers used a fifth to have me block.
I’m not a jerk, you will see
I won’t be “locker room lawyer”-y
Groomed to be Chad Clifton’s double
‘Til then I’m part of the Offensive Line Shuffle.