Saturday, May 30, 2009

"The Offensive Line Shuffle"; 2009 Re-Shuffle

Back in August of 2006, I wrote some new lyrics to a well-known (and annoying) song that bemoaned the uncertainty of the offensive line under new coach Mike McCarthy. At the time, we still had players by the name of Whitaker and Klemm, and were trying to work in a bunch of rookies to see who would stick.

Fast-forward three years later, and I will be the first to admit that our line has improved over the Whitaker days. But, after looking at the reports from the OTA's, it is still clear that few spots are firmly decided along the offensive line, something that many observers like myself would love to see (finally) set in stone.

So, without any further ado, I present to you "The Offensive Line Shuffle", 2009 version.

The Offensive Line Shuffle

(sung to the tune of "The Super Bowl Shuffle")

We are the Packers’ Shufflin’ Crew
Shufflin' around, doin' it for you.
Pressure on A-Rodge while we stood
Blowin' our blocks like you knew we would.
You know we're not just shufflin’ for fun
Just finding a turn for everyone
Our offensive punch will remain subtle
‘Cause we keep doing the Offensive Line Shuffle.

Mark Tauscher
Well, they call me Tauch,
And I like to leap
That right tackle spot’s been mine to keep
Until last year I tore an A-C-L
Now there’s one more spot that needs to gel
It doesn’t look much
Like I’ll be able to play
Bad news for me as I’m an U-F-A
I’m out my payday, but it’s no trouble,
I’m gonna sit back and watch
The Offensive Line Shuffle

Chad Clifton
This is Big Chad, over on the left
In pass protection I’m still quite deft
I’ve tried my best to fight the fight
But still can’t get the Z-B-S right
Now I'm penciled in
To start this season
But it’s my contract year and there’s the reason
After this year Ted’ll set me free
An Offensive Line Shuffle starts at L-T

Scott Wells
I'm Scotty Wells, and you’ve been told
I’m the man in the middle, big and bold,
But after five years of stuffing the blitz
I have to compete with ol’ J. Spitz
Trade talks brewin’ during the draft
Looks like I’m the one getting the shaft
Because of an injury to my back muscle
I’m a part of the Offensive Line Shuffle

(Repeat Chorus)

Jason Spitz
I'm the plucky grunt known as J-Spit
Guard’s okay but center seems to fit
Got a Sherman holdover in my way
But he’s on the sideline of the O-T-A
Me and Scott will “fight it out”
But we all know who will win that bout
I may have Wellsie’s feathers ruffled
It’s all a part of the Offensive Line Shuffle.

Daryn Colledge
This is Daryn from the North Pole
Finding a regular spot
Is my ongoing goal
Started nearly every spot across the line
Guard, some tackle, even rode the pine
They say this is the year I need to show my stuff
Lot of guys drafted going to make it tough
I could be the guy sitting on the bubble
I’d sure like out of the Offensive Line Shuffle.

Josh Sitton
They say Colledge is the man
If Daryn can't do it, I sure can.
This is Josh, a rookie wonder
Preseason starter til my knee went asunder.
So bring on Meredith, bring on Lang
They’ll all be with the second-team gang
Hope my knee gives me no trouble
Or I’ll be back in the Offensive Line Shuffle.

Tony Moll
I’m Tony Moll, who earned some doubt
With the new kids here I’m the odd man out
I started at tackle during the O-T-A
Only because Chad Clifton can’t play
I play tackle, I play guard
In the Z-B-S
But as we phase it out, I play less
Barring injury, my starts are scuttled
I’m odd man out in the Offensive Line Shuffle.

(Repeat Chorus)

Breno Giacomini
The tackles comin’, I’m your man Breno
They drafted me because I’m tough and mean-o
Try to block the run, block the rush,
But my first season’s one that I’d like to flush
Coach told me tackle was my position to lose
(And yeah, I was even more surprised that you’se)
You may pronounce my name without no trouble
Good luck figuring out the Offensive Line Shuffle.

T.J Lang
It's T.J. here, and I play special teams.
But starting on the line is my biggest dreams
I used to play D-Line in college, you know
But now I’m on O-Line, ready to go
Played a little bit of tackle, a little bit of guard
But breaking the starting lineup looks to be hard.
I’m another versatile zone guy in the mix,
We're goin' to do the Shuffle,
And see who sticks

James Meredith
You're lookin' at Meredith , I'm the rookie.
I may be big, but I'm no dumb cookie.
Went to the draft, fell like a rock
Packers used a fifth to have me block.
I’m not a jerk, you will see
I won’t be “locker room lawyer”-y
Groomed to be Chad Clifton’s double
‘Til then I’m part of the Offensive Line Shuffle.

(Repeat Chorus)


IPB said...

Man, you might want to keep your day job options open, L.A. (GRin)

Back in 2006, I can remember a lot of fans were expecting a couple of positions to see an upgrade-which certainly was NEED-ed. One position begging questions was (wait for it) Offensive Guard. The other being Defensive Line, or Safety-take your pick.

Overall, as you say, we were dealing with Whitaker. We also had Junius Coston (who I miss, btw) and a few others. I miss guys like Palmer and Walter, as well.

No offense, but your stance would have been more thrilling had you laid out a few items for the seasons you skipped right over-maybe that's just me.

I guess my view is that either we really did have so-so personnel, or has these last few years seriously been deficit due to the not-so-great group of Assistant Coaches that McCarthy brought onboard initially?

Before MAC, we had two seasons of nonsense with the Defensive Staff. On Offense, MAC brought in all knew people. Larry Beightol was now gone (whom I really miss), along with several other fairly good offensive minded staff. On Defense, he had kept Jim Bates, who had replaced (wait for it) SLOW-ik. Where anyone in the NFL figured that guy to be worthwhile, I will never know. He's sold people in Denver well enough, I guess.

Anyway, if I'm rambling, say so. I guess my query would be: Many say our whole issue has been Ted Thompson NOT doing the right thing in the Draft. While others, like myself, say "it isn't the GM who gets these Players ready for WAR", it's the Coaching Staff.

So, which is it? I say it's on the field. ANY College Player worth his salt SHOULD BE capable of making it in the NFL, "pending" he has the right sort of Teacher....aka: Coach.

Holmgren's main strength was finding GREAT TEACHERS. He lived by the trickle down theory. And, it demonstrated itself on the field. Especially in the 3rd quarter(s) if you paid attention.

What say ye?

C.D. Angeli said...

Personally, and I make few bones about it, I blame the implementation of the scheme. I think that it is a "trick" that you use when you don't have the talent that can blow people off the line, and it is a way that you can still generate a running game without having top-flight talent.

I do take issue with the fact that Mark Tauscher and Chad Clifton having been a part of perhaps the best offensive line in franchise history (both running and pass protecting), but are now considered "poor fits" because of the scheme. That just doesn't make a lot of sense to me.